Tuesday 13 December 2011

88k 'gbese' this xmas!!! God forbid

Ol boy! No be small thing oo. God just brought me out from a ditch i would have fallen into in the office. For those who dont know, 'gbese' means debt (not the kind that you willingly undertook though). If you hit/scratch someone's car and you are wrong, then u have chopped gbese, if you pick that lovely top ur colleague is selling thinking its the usual 2k-3k top and after wearing it and getting loads of compliments, u realize that top was actually 10k, u have chopped correct gbese, if you use the worng cost on a suppliers purchase order and there is an over payment done to the guy then u have eaten correct, authentic gbese! Get the drift?

Well the last happened to me yesterday. I over payed a supplier by 88 thousand naira!!!! My boss called me and asked what happened. I was so sure there was a mistake somewhere cos i couldnt believe i would make such errors. I checked and there! I commited the blunder. I called the oga and he calmly told me to go and settle with finance. Well, in my  organization, that means ' go and tell finace in how many installments you will pay the amount back and which months they should start debiting your salary account'. For this xmas???? Mehn, i couldnt sleep last night.

This morning, i went to the boss and as meekly as i could muster, asked him what he asked me to do when i get to finance (like i didnt know already) As Almighty God, Oluwa, Chukwu, Oghene, My FATHER will have it, my boss asked me to go that he will sort it out!!!! I couldnt believe my ears! Is that how much God loves me?????
Someone has been made to pay 300+K for a mistake like this. The guy's salary was deducted for so long that he forgot how much he was actually meant to be collecting as salary.

Abeg make una join me shake ikebe unto the Lord. I am so thankful.

Hope y'all are gearing up for the hoilidays. I cant wait.

P/S: Bumped into our  'vexing bus driver' (from the last post) and he was with this really pretty chick who was clinging to him like he will evaporate if she didnt. Guess he has moved on to someone who will be his girl without being actually 'toasted' or 'wooed'. As if carrying me in a big motor is the be-all. mschewwwww

Friday 2 December 2011

Free 'Bus driver' don vex!

Im dey stay for the compound next to my own.
We dey greet once in a while.
I dey my own jeje ooo.
Na im come meet me, ask me where i dey work.
I tell am.
Im ask me how i dey take manage go work eveymorning.
I tell am say na bus na (i no get motor, person come dey ask me stupid question)
Na im im offer to dey carry me. Say make i dey call am if i wan comot.
Na so i bin dey get free ride go work inside this fine murano SUV.
Nobody talk anything wey resemble 'toasting' oo.
Yesterday, bros call me say make we hang out.
I tell am say i dey tired, say i wan go sleep.
Na im bros para, dey 'voke, say im dey tell me wetin im want make we do, me i dey talk another thing.
I no get power so i off fone. Bros show for my door. Say 'we have to talk'!
See me wahala oo. Im think say im be my bobo? Sake of say im dey drop me for office?
Abegi, make im park well joor.
I tell am say, make we leave the talk to another time say i wan sleep.
Na im bros talk wetin wan make me laff  'I cant have a girlfriend and only see her in the morning when i am talking her to work'!!!!!! 'GIRLFRIEND' KE!
Well, i swallow the laff, come tell am say i no be im girlfriend say i bin dey think say na the 2 people involved go decide to girlfriend/boyfriend each other
The guy vex, comot.
This  morning, i call am to drop me (as we bin dey do since na)
Bros no pick im fone. When im pick am, im tell me say im dey busy.
Shio! Na so?
No wahala. I go fly my bike go bustop go enter my bus as usual.

Yeye man!

Really, why do guys feel that you can be their girlfriend when they want you to be? WHy do they take women for granted? Why cant they do favours for women - no strings attached? Why do they always feel the need to get us to 'thank' them by being their babes whenever they do us favours?

Yeye!!!

Tuesday 29 November 2011

Sex in the office? Why me?

I just came in from the ladies and am still very shaken. I cant tell anyone here (in office) what i just experienced so i guess i can hide back here and tell you guys (doesnt being an annonymous blogger just rock?)

I had told you guys sometime ago about a guy in my office whose hard on (in his trousers) i spotted. This guy has an ex as well as a current in the office. See story here if you didnt read that post.       

The battle for the guy's attention has intesified between in 2 girls in recent times and its such a funny plot to watch. Killer office cloths, breakfast from left and right, etc. The mumu guy sef just dey there dey act confused. Beats me when guys dont know excatly what he wants.

Well, we have 4 restrooms in the office - one for the MD and 3 for regular staff. there is one of the three which is very popular cos it is really spacious with a real wide mirror and hand dryer so people always prefer to use that one. I went to use the restroom and that popular one was in use so i decided to manage one of the others. I spend a lot of time in the restroom usually cos i do a lot of stuff like picking my facial pimples, making faces at the mirror, reciting nursery rhymes etc. Anything to keep me away from my desk for a while. I must have been there 10-15mins (thats probably why they  felt i was gone) when i started hearing sounds from the next restroom. I could distinctly make out the voice of my hard-on-in-office colleague. The sounds were definetely sex. I couldnt figure out who he was with until the person's fone rang. The ring tone is Kas's 'I gat too much swagger' song. It was the guys 'ex' girl's fone!!! So except someone else went into that toilet with someone else's fone then i have just caught sounds of a guy having sex with his ex in the office where his current girlfriend works!

I have been feeling very funny since then cos 1) i dont like hearing people have sex 2) the current babe is my friend and i dont know if to say anything or not

What could have made them do it in the office??? Couldnt they have waited till after work??? Why do i have to be the one in the other toilet at that time???

Gat to figure out how to maintain a straight face whenever i bump into both of them

I think i have to keep my mouth shut to the current girl make e no come be me scatter them. I no get power.

I dont just like this

Tuesday 1 November 2011

Wish me luck!

I think i'm in love!!! I met this really cool guy in the bus sometime ago. he was so sauve, cool and a very intelligent conversationist. Cant remember how we got talking sha, but we talked and talked and talked. For the 1hr plus we spent in traffic, we didnt shut up once. In fact, i wished the traffic would extend sef! Anyway, turned out we were alighting at the same bustop. He waited for me to pick a bike while we exchanged phone numbers. We have been talking since them, hanging out and stuff. I really like the guy. 2 weeks ago, i had just dropped from the bus at Eko hotel round about when i saw someone that looked like him. I stopped to check. Lo and behold, it was him with a girl. Na so i stand for roundabout, dey look dem two. He stood with the girl for like 10minutes in front of a place that seemed to be the girl's office, after which they hugged and he started walking towards me. Just before they parted, i had dialled his number asking him where he was. Thankfully, he didnt lie, he said he was at the roundabout so i told him i was close and would wait for him. That probably cut short their meeting (at 7.30am!) Cut long story short, he says the girl is a friend. (i secretly scrolled his phone and saw a text from him to the girl asking her where exactly her office was so he could wait for her. The text was on the morning i met them meaning he also got to know the girl recently) I cant help but ask if the guy's stock in trade is meeting girls in the bus. October 1st public holiday, i had told myself i wouldnt give the guy a breather to think of hooking up with her. She called and called and called. I just pack face for the guy house till night. I have found out she stays far off and i was sure she wouldnt be able to come that night before i left. I like this guy and i would save him from himself!!! (yeah yeah)

Wish me luck!

Wednesday 26 October 2011

Balancing christainity and work

I was to raise a payment claim for one supplier that did a job for us. My boss had signed the claim form and i was waiting for the head of accounts to append his signature before i take to the paying cashier. My boss suddenly called me back asking if i had gotten the 2nd signature, ignorantly, i said no. He then instructed me to add 30 thousand naira to the actual amount to be paid out to the supplier. Because, according to him, we  were owing another supplier who did something for us in the past. I wondered. Why do i have to raise payments for the 2 suppliers in 1 when i can raise the other supplier's payment seperately. i wondered. I then went to ask one of my collegues why we had not paid the other supplier who did something for us about 4 months ago. My colleague looked at me funny saying we had long since paid the guy. That was when it dawned on me (yeah i am slow, i know) that my boss just wanted the 30k for himself and was using me as a foot soilder to get it! If u see this boss eh, BIG BOYYY. With swag and all. Why will he want to steal 30k 'koro koro' like this??? Didnt his tiny brain tell him it will take me less than 5mins to find out that the 'supplier' he wanted to pay had been paid already?
How i go do na? An order is an order. I waka go accounts go give the claim. I was asked why the amount had changed from what it was yesterday. I confided in one of the accountants. This accountant is a pastor in his church. After i told him what i noticed, he just shook his head in shame and sorrow. All he said to me was 'am i really a pastor'? I asked him what he meant. He was like all the corruption and theft by senior officers in the company all pass through his table and he gets to know about them, but that he neither speaks up nor does he do anything. He says he knows he is partaking in their sin even though he isnt partaking in their booty (stolen loot) He was just lamenting, asking what he could do as his conscience was killing him. Even the head of accounts is also a BIGGG thief! Siphoning money into phony things and this guy knows all about it. Thing is, it now looks like the account head, seeing that he cannot get this pastor guy to join in, is trying to frustrate him out of the system.
How do u balance the teachings of your faith with what is going on in the work place??? Do u up and leave each time u see atrocities being committed? Or do u speak up risking everything??? Cos as far as we can tell, the MD should have been smelling a rat. Why he has chosen not to do anything about it in this work place beats the crap out of me.

I am so sorry for my long absence, i have been tackling one challenge after the other in this office.Hardly keeping up with the crisis that seems to be ensuing on a daily basis.
Men!!! K'o easy ra ra

Monday 17 October 2011

Business ideas - Oh, how i need them so bad!

I really need a business idea to help me get an alternative source of income. This '30 days make one month' thing isnt werking for me. I am somewhat interested in the exportation business. Thing is i dont know where to start from. Maybe i should think of something else, something small. But what?
A brief history about my enterpreneural journey so far: I tried selling custome jewelleries, bought from Jos and sold wherever. i made good profit but couldnt sustain it as i gave out a lot of the stuff free! (can be stupid like that). I then went into selling male leather footwears during my NYSC period. this i did just one time and didnt go back to refill my stock cos i felt it didnt move fast enough.
That goes to tell me that i might not do well as a retailer, selling stuffs one one, cos if i dont dash them all out, i might lose interest if i dont sell them out fast enuf.

I need help - Business ideas, Anyone???

Lovely week to y'all

Thursday 13 October 2011

An awful day at work!

Mehn, today at work was just so messed up! I got tongue lashed by my boss on more occasions today than i have recieved in like 8months. And i cant say i blame him. I dont know why, but lately, i have been kind of absent minded. Though most of the errors i got tongue lashed for didnt originate from me, they all passed through my table and i should have at least cross checked and raised alarm. Funny thing is, one the most major of the errors i got shouted on for was actually commited by him! But he asks me why i didnt go through and point it out to him before sending to client. Hmmm, thats the life of a non-management staff - you make an error, u get shouted at. Your boss makes an error, YOU get shouted at. Your subordinate makes an error, YOU STILL get shouted at!!! If e pain u, pack ur load and go - SIMPLE.

I am so mightily glad today is over. let me go home and lick my wounds and massage my bruised ego. Hopefully, tommorrow will dawn brighter for me in the office.

God help me!!!

Wednesday 5 October 2011

Dating your boss. Safe?

What happens when the love turns sour?
I have always thought that is a big NO-NO. i mean, knowing myself, any boss i date is in soup cos i will generally (not intentionally though) not see him as my boss who should give me orders. I mean, how can i go to bed with u tonight and have u give me a memo d next day no matter what i do?
Well, some people feel its the easiest way to get noticed and approved of in the work place. She is barely 2 months old in my organization, and already, she is on first name basis with one of the big guns! I mean, u enter his office almost on tip toe to see her lounging on the seat in the office reading a newspaper with legs crossed, with all the deadlines we have to deal with. she laffs and hits him playfully in public and always runs to tell him at every slight discomfort she feels work wise.
Thing is, the guy she is dealing with is known as 'green snake' around here. He is very very cunning. He has been known to slander people in front of the MD if he feels u are slighting him any way. He is the kind that victimizes people if he doesnt have his way.
Now this girl probably dosent know she is dining with the devil and noone is ready to tell her cos she has, in her short time here, succeeded in making very few friends with the way she runs off to report people.
Anyway, we will sit and watch how this pans out at the end.

She should however, watch it with me ooo. If she steps on me more than is acceptable,i will buzz round her head till she faints from the discomfort

Tuesday 4 October 2011

Just farted in the office!

I HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN KILLED BY EMBARRASEMENT!
How could i???
We were speaking very intelligently-one of my colleagues and i, giving and taking ideas. discussing issues on a particular project we are currently working on and trying to find solutions when suddenly 'puuuuum'. that was from my ass! Chei! if u see how the guy just calmly paused, looked at me, and continued what he was saying! such a gentleman (God bless his soul)
The stench sef didnt help matters. even i had to hold my breath for a while. the guy just maintained like say nothing (knowing myself,i wouldnt have done same for anyone)
How do i cellotape my torn 'ajebo' certificate???? Me, with my lovely shirts and cute shoes (so i have been told). how could i have farted in public? And i was on my way to the loo when the guy stopped me and the gist started. why didnt i just excuse myself and go ahead? but i had to stay back, talk and end up disgracing myself. (i am hanging my head in shame right now)
Since the incident, i havent spoken much and the guy is acting as civil as possible (which makes it somehow worse for me sef)
cant wait for the day to end make i run go house. is there anything i can do to redeem myself in his eyes??? i will have to give this yeye ass some real warning. make im no try this kain thing ever again. kilode!

Friday 30 September 2011

Why am acting like a kid?

Yes! what is even wrong with me? Should i be feeling this way. The last time i felt this way, i was like 8!

Ok, what am i talking about? I have a female colleague who is a very good and close friend (dont get it twisted, i am as staright as an arrow!).  we talk about everything and anything, laugh and have each others backs in the office. well that was until very recently. A new person joined the company and is stealing my friend from me! *tears rolling down cheeks*. yes, my friend is drifting away. She spends more time with this new girl just cos they have a mutual friend from secondary school. Now i have to struggle to gist with my friend cos they are always talking, going to buy lunch and even eating the lunch together! They even bought the same top from the same person and wore it to the office on the same day. I feel so left out.

And before you say 'it could be ur fault maybe u did something wrong', i didnt do anything other than not pay close attention. Now,i am behaving like a 5yr old whose favourite toy was taken from and given to another kid. Is something wrong with me???

*sad face*

Thursday 22 September 2011

A hard on in the office!

I just saw a guy's hard on sticking out of his trousers - in the office!!! With all these work stress, how can someone still possible think of sex enough for it to form and show through his trousers???
The guy in question has a former female colleague whom he has dated before and he has another female colleague who he is looking to date now. The 2 girls know about each other with the former not finding the recent going-ons funny at all. She is doing what every one does in the face of competition-fight back! She appears to work dressed to kill. The new catch too has percieved the rivalry and is determined not to be out done. She has stepped up her game. So the guy is caught in the cross fire. I wouldnt say i pity him sha, cos you dont go about dating people in the office left, right and centre.
Now he is having a hard on at work. He had to bring out his tucked in shirt to cover his 'shame'. And kept pulling the shirt down. I looked at him well enough for him to know i noticed. If he was white, he would have blushed purple!

Take care guys, gotta go now

Tuesday 20 September 2011

Annoying silly boss!

Just got out of a meeting in which my boss said 'i dont have time,buzzer, i will introduce the meeting. i want u to continue with it and gather the other people's ideas and all the other nonsense you guys have to say'. Can u imagine that? So we now say nonsense,his colleagues say nonsense? Silly man. This man who is so so arrogant, who dosent know how to pull off the funniest joke in the world - no matter what he says, how hard he tries, he just cannot make one laff by the 'funny' things he tries to say. He just dosent have it in him. i wonder how interesting a husband he will be at home. i cant bear to stay with him alone for more than 10mins.

He just dosent have anything interesting to say. Maybe he makes up for his boring attitude with great sex who knows. Anyway, i am out of the meeting and into a pile of work which i have been told i have to deliver before close of business tommorrow. He sure derives joy in putting pressure on other people while he goes back to his office to play with his ipad.

It sha pays to be an oga.

Introducing maself!

Hey, i am buzzer! a girl who loves to say things the very way i feel them. Anytime i have an oppionion, i dont keep it to myself, nah, that aint me. i spit it out, not minding whose ox is gored. You dont like that? Too bad, cos i am here to stay.
Always loved to write, what better way than to run my own personal blog. Here i will share my oppionion with u guys, i will share my daily experiences, my hurts, my pains, my joy, my gains.....................
You there? Good. Let the riiiiiide begin!!!!